You don’t have to do the popular thing: an argument for doing what you enjoy

Due to the rise of outspoken groups with inhumane ethics, I must clarify that this article means anything unrelated to the direct or indirect violation or disruption of human rights (see: United Nations Universal Declaration of Human Rights for further details.)

Now: Remember fidget spinners? Barely?

The lifespan of an item, concept or way of living is subject to washing-machine style approach. There is the initial phase, where the introduction of the idea or object might be a small percentage of the population. A slow trickle of interest builds. A sense of uniqueness is formed around it; no one else has it. You blink.

Everyone else has the thing, has done the thing, engaged with the thing.

The speed in which popularity works is fascinating, as are the reasons why we want to convince others to be like us, but more on that another time. We have the unpleasant flipside of popularity to deal with at present.

Say you don’t have it, or want it, or even like whatever the popular thing may be.

It’s not uncommon to be met with shock, a defensive outcry that you simply don’t understand the brevity in which the popular thing holds! If you just “tried it”, it would be a different story. However, unlike a new food or flavour, the popular thing exists in its own realm. The popular thing seems to demand to be thought of as special and isolated, even if a majority of people in your circle engage with it. Of course, you can always argue why it’s not for you, why an alternative is better.

Or you could try taking not arguing at all, instead inviting exploration of what it is to enjoy a popular thing. Take for example the TikTok-esque feature that is Instagram Reels. For me personally, I don’t enjoy them. If I wanted to interact with an app in that format, I choose TikTok. If I wanted to make content suitable for Reels, I use TikTok and then subsequently post it to Reels. To me, there’s no competition. I use different apps for different features, and enjoy not having everything in one place. But a friend once said to me they were relieved Instagram added Reels, because they didn’t want TikTok on the premise that TikTok is often conflated negatively to an older audience. At the time I tried to argue that their feeling was simply a feeling, and that an app that brings enjoyment to the user is simply doing the same job as any other entertainment app.

What I should have understood is that it’s not just okay for them to have that opinion: it’s great! The list of popular TV series I have watched one minute of, decided I didn’t like and never gave a chance again could be an article alone. On just as many instances, I have had friends and strangers alike try to cajole me into admitting any positive comment towards a popular thing. Yet we all occasionally (love to) fall in the trap of explaining why you are right and someone else is wrong. There’s a huge difference between exploration of different experiences and opinions verses the classic, “you just should” or “but everyone likes” argument. It’s tiring to repeat yourself, especially if the argument falls on deaf or passive-aggressive ears.

So the next time someone tells you to do or try the popular thing, enjoy knowing what feels good to you and honour that. Sit with the discomfort that comes with disagreement, then relish standing your ground. We are only ever responsible for our own responses. The popular things in life and you can coexist peacefully, without any emotional exhaustion in sight.